I listened to Pastor Dave's message, and was reminded of the spiritual poverty and bankruptcy that lingers in my heart. My heart breaks for the people out there, yet I don't know where to start or how to begin. I still feel very empty within. I don't know where I am going with my life, wandering in this lonely solitude. All I know is that I see pain out there that needs healing, and I need to be the vessel that can be used to deliver God's hope to nations of unrest. Honestly, maybe that's the way it needs to be. Move away from everything. I need to live that life of sacrifice, whatever the cost may be.
The process of emptying myself to the sake of the Kingdom is so hard. I see myself as a sinner, and I wonder how can someone like me be used. I feel so unworthy of His grace, feeling as though I have squandered it on my selfishness and pride. How would God use someone like me to be an instrument when I'm so far away from being in the image that Christ has called me to? The only hope is that somehow, God would use me as he sees fit. Let my life be the conduit that shines God. My hope is that God may help me overcome the sin and the darkness in my life. In His stillness, that He would continue to humble me and reveal to me His path. In the end, I am nothing compared to His glory.
