Sometimes, it's a struggle to understand life. It's intricate complexities just makes it harder to have faith in things to hope for. Having faith in knowing that somehow life will get better seems so dim in comparison to the overwhelming nature of doubt and uncertainty. Everyday is a struggle to believe that dreams will come true, and that worries will somehow fade away. To always bear in mind that somehow God is control seems so distant when the realities of this world are in front of you, and there's no escaping the clutches of its grasp. Anxieties pile up, but at the same time, you put on a face that everything is okay, or is that just the same thing as really trying to surrender it to God. Is it a growing fear that one day, everything will just come crashing down, and the weight of this world just crushes everything you've been fighting for. Where is that oasis in the heat of the desert? Or is it a mirage?
Sometimes, it just takes faith to believe that the faith you're working hard to believe will come into fruition. The struggles seem to be so enormous that just towers over unlimited and unchecked. The hope of faith is that someday, that tower of overwhelming tribulation will topple and that light will shine through.
Perseverance in hoping that God's mercy will uphold his promises in a broken heart. To yearn for His will to be done in a state of weariness of life and its toils. To obtain a hope that God will prevail over an uncertain world and its uncertainties to be vanquished. To understand that apart from God, there is nothing else to hope for.
Somehow, there must be more to this life than what has already come. To have strength and faith that God will see it through into perfection, and that His perfect will be accomplished regardless of unbelief, and that his mercies may be renewed. His steadfast love may be abundant in weakness and failure.
To pursue a life of faith is hard. It takes momentous strength to conquer unbelief. Can mountains be moved? Will God be unrelenting on my behalf? Will there be a light in darkness? I can only hope that someday, faith will be justified, and perseverance be rewarded.
