I had a chance to just reflect on my own humanity today as I prayed to God. I saw how truly weak I am without God, and how sinful and how prone I am to darkness without Him. The darkness is like a drug that feels like it completes, and it satisfies when in reality, it creeps in kills the soul within. I ask myself why would God love me when I long for the darkness to many times. I am a darkness addict and I cannot stop. It's beyond comprehension of what God's will is for me. How can God still love me and remember when in my weakness? I looked at the stars as I was thinking this and was reminded of how infinitismal I really am in comparison to the universe. The stars scatter vastly across the sky. The twinkle in them is light that is thousands upon thousands of light years away. The light that I see in the night sky doesn't even mean the the star exists anymore. It's crazy.
